Using Gifts

Where have my creative juices gone? 

"Don't worry, they're still there" is what is said...but in reality... are they? They just can't be seen, because they're hidden. 

• It's safer. If someone saw them, then they might be used, criticized and become an object of ridicule.
• It's easier. If no one knows of them, they won't be called to on to be used. Besides, they won't bring joy to anyone else.
• It's calmer. If they were used, when would "necessary" things done?
• It's more comfortable. If used, they'd have to stretch. They'd be pained.

That sure makes it safer, easier, calmer and more comfortable...here in the present. 

But that's not what God called us to. Safe, easy, calm and comfortable were not in Jesus' vocabulary for life. He gave us gifts to use, to enjoy! 

• It is risky: But perfect love casts out fear; and He is abounding in love.
• It is hard: But using what we have uses the gifts we have, which DOES bring joy and encouragement to others through our gifts.
• It is turbulent: But God brings peace when He is the focus, though the storm may not subside.
• It is painful: But out of suffering comes joy and character -gifts we can re-gift back.

Psalm of Praise

All willpower used
But change refused
Condition: less than empty
Dank is my mind
Everything's blind
Failing: my propensity.

Grasping His hand,
He leads toward His land
I follow: my only choice
Joy wells up inside
Kneeling to abide
Listening: for one small voice.

Magnify the Lord, our LORD Redeemer-Provider
Nourishing saved souls, the LORD Almighty, esteem louder.

Outspoken: His sovereignty
Presence: for eternity
Qualities only He possesses.
Respectful: The gentleman
Shepherd: till time will end
Tenderly holds and caresses.

Uplifting: His Essence
Veilings: His lessons
Wisdom He offers the World
EXudes: peace beyond measure
Yokes broken: His treasure
Zealous child at His feet, is curled.

Gains = Losses

God, are losses okay?
Is the pain along with the loss okay too?

I read someone else's blog today. I rarely do actually. But this one was specifically sent to me through email, and it caught my attention: "15 Things I want to Tell My Third Culture Kids." As she wrote her heart to her kids, she showed something few have. She writes to her kids, using memories, pictures, and words of what she sees and knows to be true. She tells them what they need to hear.

She has a gift of seeing the truth of what another person is going through, acknowledging it, and then being open to hearing what they have to say about it. I was caught off guard. How many parents acknowledge that their choices have both positive and negatives for their kids? What parent then wants their kids to see, acknowledge, and comment on how those choices have affected them, both the blessings and the hardships? Not many.

For every person, there are blessings of where we grew up, went to school, the culture whether it be urban, suburban, rural or foreign, jobs we've held, etc. Then there are the challenges of those same things. The gains and the losses all come together. When we gain something, we lose something.




The gains need to be recognized.
The losses need to be recognized.
Acceptance of both brings healing.
Contrasts, create deep beauty.





If we only recognize and admit to the gains, we do not handle life clearly. There is a shadow side that demands attention. If stifled, it will come out in other "acceptable" ways, that are not healthy.

This author sees both the positives and negatives in the lives of her kids. What courage to face truths that are "not nice." And what healing it brings to the child to hear the one caring for them, acknowledging that there is pain in their lives. She sees what they need, a listening, caring, ear, even if it hurts.

I needed to hear those words. We all need to hear those words. Life, and particularly are childhoods have deep positive memories that are unique to each of us. It also contains some deep painful memories. It is okay. Out of losses, our character grows.

God gained a world by Creating it.
God lost a Son to Save it.
God gained a world to Relate with.



(and for those who care, this is somewhat chiastically structured ;o)

Sole Surrender

When I recently was not offered a job that seemed perfect, it hurt. Yet out of the pain and sadness due to that and several other things at the same time, my soul has begun to start softening. There is One who cares, and has shown His providence. And I just want to share the elementary and profound truth of what He's been teaching me.

As I now apply to different universities for education in counseling and social work, I have been asking myself what I want to do in life. To answer that, I then asked myself what I wanted to do with my life.

 And that is where I realized I'd been asking good, but wrong questions.

Two very similar, but different questions. One asks about actions and doings; the other asks for the purpose and reasons for those actions. But there is something even deeper that impacts those struggling questions.

Both get answered when a different question gets answered. 

Who Owns my life?

• Psalm 146:6 "[The LORD] is Maker of heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them --He remains faithful forever."
• 1 Chronicles 29:11-12 "Yours, LORD, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor, for everything in heaven and earth is yours. Yours, LORD, is the kingdom; You are exalted as head over all. Wealth and honor come from you; You are the ruler of all things. In your hands are strength and power to exalt and give strength to all."
• Deuteronomy 10:14 "To the LORD your God belongs the heavens, even the highest heavens, the earth and everything in it."

Everything.

Is.

His.


Including my life's journey. If it is His, and we let Him have control of it, He will show us what "it" is; Then He will lead it, guide it, provide for it, nurture it, be with it, and get the glory from it eventually.

-I still don't know where I'll be going to for school or what exactly. But!

My perspective on what I do in life is changing, as a result of why, as a result of Who. Praise the Lord!

Good Gifts

God is a good Father. Not only does He support and be with a person through hard times, but He will, what seems like random, give fun gifts!

I had one of those random blessings just fall into my lap. I work at Starbucks, talk to customers and know many of them beyond "Hi. Here's your triple, half-caf, grande, 2.5 pump vanilla, 3 pump chai, nonfat, extra hot, no foam, vanilla latte." (for the record, that order is fake, but they do get ridiculous sometimes.) When you think about it, 30 second conversations can't get very far, even if they happen nearly 5 times a week, in the same context.

But then there are exceptions.

Two weeks ago, I started French 101. :D Yikes! Understanding the gist of conversations and speaking are two VERY different things! It all makes sense, it just takes time and effort to practice to make it flow fluidly.

A reason to learn

Back to Starbucks. Lo and Behold, one of my customers found out, and offered to meet with me on her own time -a native French speaker and teacher herself! She did not have to do that, yet here she is, teaching and helping her barista study French! :)

Wow God! :D (or should I say "Merci Beaucoup, Monsieur!")

And here I adjourn to study the depths of "etre" and "avoir" verbs...

Blessings of the "Brrrr's!"

Last night I strolled through Chicago's glowing twilight in a simple lightweight jacket with the temperature around 42 degrees. Nine hours later, I step out into a beautiful and brisk 17 degree morning.

With yesterday being so warm, I often ended conversations at work with, "Hope you can enjoy the day!"

 I was taken aback when the majority of replies were not positive. To be fair, several customers did reply with a version of, "It sure is a beautiful day and I'm enjoying it, even from my office window!" However, most were not so upbeat.

"Don't get used to it. Tomorrow's gonna be awful."
"It may look like spring, but its sure not."
"Winter's just being tricksy -it's not really that great out, and the next couple days are going to nasty."
"Can't. I'll be working all day."
"Ughh. I can't enjoy it, knowing that tomorrow's high is in the teen's right now." (It actually rose to 22!)

What a sad world to live in! If the temperature outside is the thermostat for your mood and outlook on the day, YIKES! That's a lot of power to give something that you can't control or trust!

I'm not saying weather doesn't affect us -it just doesn't need to have the power to control any part of us.

Control is for one being only. God. He is faithful, good, and sovereign. Therefore, He can be trusted to control things for the best interest of His people.

Since I can't change it, I may as well enjoy it! ;o


Blessings of the cold:

• Drinking hot beverages. (Who wants hot tea when it's 100 degree's out?!)
• Bundling up and being cozy with scarves and hats!
• Feeling refreshed after walking or biking. 
• Attempting recipe's long overlooked.
• Walking in solitude through a normally bustling city.
• Hearing squirrels scramble up frozen trees.
• Renewed appreciation for summer.
• Sledding, snow-shoeing, ice-skating, snowmobiling, and of course, snowball fights...
• Watching the gentleness of twirling snowflakes. 
• Gazing through crystal clear, cold skies to a few extra stars at night!

The Roars Around Reflection

"Dear God, thank you so much for today and for being over everything. At my meeting, remind me to be open about you, especially with so-in-so....  Man. I don't think she works today... great! That means I'll be able to do ....."  

Do you ever want to think or study something, but then find yourself thinking about something (or many things!) before you realize you weren't concentrating on the first thing? You decide to pray for 2 minutes before heading out the door in the morning.... And after sitting down for five minutes, you've covered your daily and possibly weeks schedule, fed the cat, retrieved your phone and answered a text, eaten a bowl of cereal and thought about a co-worker before you got the first topic you actually wanted to pray about. The roar of everyday life drowns out the good-intended focus.

 "Sorry God, I really want to be with you right now...."

Our culture doesn't like listening to God, or being silent. When was the last time you were still before God? Or thought about His awe-inspiring attributes? What roars will try to drown out God?

Look at your watch right now. Sit and be still for 1 minute and think of who God is. (Especially if you don't ever slow down)Sovereignty -all things in your city, state, country, the universe, and heaven will bow down and sing Him praise. His Glory and Holiness. What is His holiness? And He says "Be holy as I am holy." He is a judge, and a comforter at the same time. Wow!

No really. Take 1 minute. (If you're reading this, then you actually do have one spare minute.) Do and say nothing -preferably with the door closed and no one around.

Now that you did that, (You did, right?...) Count on your fingers how many different things ran through your mind.

A while back, I wanted to spend time thinking about God's attributes. I sat down with tea, and instantly, eight things went through my head at lightning speed, each complete different from another. My head was roaring with things to do, to think about, to process. It was hard to think about the one thing I wanted to -God. My reflection time, was full of a roar.

There is a roar around reflection from the outside. Our minds easily jump from thing to thing, lickety-split, without dwelling on something specific, accomplishing little, of anything, with lasting value. It is not until we carefully, continuously, painstakingly, bend its focus in a specific, desired direction that we may reap the long-term benefits of reflection.  If Jesus spent hours talking and praying with God, then whatever it is, it is worth it...and worth reflecting on.

Minds are filled with thoughts and actions of our hearts. It can never, not be filled. What fills your heart? "Set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.*" Listen to your heart for 30 seconds.

What is in there?
What do you want in there?
What are you going to do to continue having that focus or to replace the roars?

(Each person is different. Find what helps you focus best. Possibly write them out to get them out, and then pray. Maybe being in a place without the things that distract you. )

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.**"

"“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.***"


* Colossians 3:1-2
**Matthew 11:28-30
*** Matthew 7:7-8