Searching

Questions surround.

Where to go, What to do.

Who to leave, and who to cleave.

Rubbed raw, the ache is real.

Thoughts surround.

Here a swirl; There a pool.

Mixing, Meshing, Blending.

Stretched and pulled, the quest sees no end.

Friends surround.

Where to open up, What to share.

Who to cry with,Who to hug.

Touched with love, life lives on.

Weary Rest

Why is my soul so chipped inside? So sad, hurt, and tired?

How come my heart is worn to the core, ready to lash out or cry?

Lord, I work for you, live for you, and try to share your compassion with the world around me.

I look around, and it is they, the world of selfishness, anger, and lust that are full of life.

What I say and do is held in disdain, questioned, and pushed away.

Yet together they drink, laugh, and carouse, enjoying the bonds of friendship.

Like a cliff by the sea, I am being eaten away at the core, not able to hold the waves back.

Little by little consumed by the tide, it weakens, bends, and crumbles.

Oh Lord, How can Your character be built in me when all lifestyles around daily surround and hide your face from my view?

Instead of your face, I see only pain, confusion, and contortions of Your fallen creatures, and know not what to do.

Where can we go for healing? Where can I hide to find care?

In silence, my mind roars.

In community, my soul is alone.

In searching, my heart hides.

In peace, my psyche goes mad.

But I still will praise You. Your honor I will sing.

Community you brought together.

Friends you have provided to be with, to listen.

Family you have given back.

Yourself, you died for all.

Your Spirit lives within me. His touch and presences heals.

Build a guard against the waves, give me strength to keep on standing.

Carve the contour of your heart on my soul though I may not see you inside.

Friendships for eternity you are building, bringing joy, hope and purpose.

Those around me will falter and fall down, longing for what you offer.

You lead my steps when I follow, You take me deep into your heart.

Tenderly you wait for me to come, Gently you open Your embrace.

My soul will rest in God my Saviour, being healed from hurts now raw.

Inward fatigue now bathed in hope,

Displays your unfailing love.

My heart now shaped more like Yours, each dent and bruise and hole,
Ready to offer shelter; Thank You for making me whole.

Psalm of Praise

All willpower used
But change refused
Condition: less than empty
Dank is my mind
Everything's blind
Failing: my propensity.

Grasping His hand,
He leads toward His land
I follow: my only choice
Joy wells up inside
Kneeling to abide
Listening: for one small voice.

Magnify the Lord, our LORD Redeemer-Provider
Nourishing saved souls, the LORD Almighty, esteem louder.

Outspoken: His sovereignty
Presence: for eternity
Qualities only He possesses.
Respectful: The gentleman
Shepherd: till time will end
Tenderly holds and caresses.

Uplifting: His Essence
Veilings: His lessons
Wisdom He offers the World
EXudes: peace beyond measure
Yokes broken: His treasure
Zealous child at His feet, is curled.

Gains = Losses

God, are losses okay?
Is the pain along with the loss okay too?

I read someone else's blog today. I rarely do actually. But this one was specifically sent to me through email, and it caught my attention: "15 Things I want to Tell My Third Culture Kids." As she wrote her heart to her kids, she showed something few have. She writes to her kids, using memories, pictures, and words of what she sees and knows to be true. She tells them what they need to hear.

She has a gift of seeing the truth of what another person is going through, acknowledging it, and then being open to hearing what they have to say about it. I was caught off guard. How many parents acknowledge that their choices have both positive and negatives for their kids? What parent then wants their kids to see, acknowledge, and comment on how those choices have affected them, both the blessings and the hardships? Not many.

For every person, there are blessings of where we grew up, went to school, the culture whether it be urban, suburban, rural or foreign, jobs we've held, etc. Then there are the challenges of those same things. The gains and the losses all come together. When we gain something, we lose something.




The gains need to be recognized.
The losses need to be recognized.
Acceptance of both brings healing.
Contrasts, create deep beauty.





If we only recognize and admit to the gains, we do not handle life clearly. There is a shadow side that demands attention. If stifled, it will come out in other "acceptable" ways, that are not healthy.

This author sees both the positives and negatives in the lives of her kids. What courage to face truths that are "not nice." And what healing it brings to the child to hear the one caring for them, acknowledging that there is pain in their lives. She sees what they need, a listening, caring, ear, even if it hurts.

I needed to hear those words. We all need to hear those words. Life, and particularly are childhoods have deep positive memories that are unique to each of us. It also contains some deep painful memories. It is okay. Out of losses, our character grows.

God gained a world by Creating it.
God lost a Son to Save it.
God gained a world to Relate with.



(and for those who care, this is somewhat chiastically structured ;o)