Gains = Losses

God, are losses okay?
Is the pain along with the loss okay too?

I read someone else's blog today. I rarely do actually. But this one was specifically sent to me through email, and it caught my attention: "15 Things I want to Tell My Third Culture Kids." As she wrote her heart to her kids, she showed something few have. She writes to her kids, using memories, pictures, and words of what she sees and knows to be true. She tells them what they need to hear.

She has a gift of seeing the truth of what another person is going through, acknowledging it, and then being open to hearing what they have to say about it. I was caught off guard. How many parents acknowledge that their choices have both positive and negatives for their kids? What parent then wants their kids to see, acknowledge, and comment on how those choices have affected them, both the blessings and the hardships? Not many.

For every person, there are blessings of where we grew up, went to school, the culture whether it be urban, suburban, rural or foreign, jobs we've held, etc. Then there are the challenges of those same things. The gains and the losses all come together. When we gain something, we lose something.




The gains need to be recognized.
The losses need to be recognized.
Acceptance of both brings healing.
Contrasts, create deep beauty.





If we only recognize and admit to the gains, we do not handle life clearly. There is a shadow side that demands attention. If stifled, it will come out in other "acceptable" ways, that are not healthy.

This author sees both the positives and negatives in the lives of her kids. What courage to face truths that are "not nice." And what healing it brings to the child to hear the one caring for them, acknowledging that there is pain in their lives. She sees what they need, a listening, caring, ear, even if it hurts.

I needed to hear those words. We all need to hear those words. Life, and particularly are childhoods have deep positive memories that are unique to each of us. It also contains some deep painful memories. It is okay. Out of losses, our character grows.

God gained a world by Creating it.
God lost a Son to Save it.
God gained a world to Relate with.



(and for those who care, this is somewhat chiastically structured ;o)